The Nightmare that is Christmas

Hey Crabby, how was your Christmas? Did you have a turkey for Christmas dinner or is it salmon all the time on the Island?

This year was my first time cooking Christmas turkey at my folks house and it was a bit of a nightmare (think Stuart McLean). My sister’s consort bought an organic, free-range turkey from the Strathcona Market on Thursday and I cribbed a bunch of idea on cooking it from various Jamie Oliver holiday specials on the Food Network.


beets and carrots

more beets, parsnips

According to JO, turkey takes about 35 minutes a kilo to cook (apparently organic turkeys cook even faster – I’ve heard this from a few different people), so this 18 pound turkey would take, at most, maybe 4 to 5 hours. I put it in the preheated oven at 1 pm, hoping it would be done by 5 and rested and on the table by 6.

stuffing (I stuffed under the ample skin at the neck end, not the body cavity)

Five pm came and went with the internal temperature falling well short of the target 165 degrees F. When the thermometer finally hit 165 a few hours later, we took it out and started carving. The breast meat was cooked (maybe even a little dry), the skin over it was brown and crispy, the thigh moved easily and appeared to be cooked, but the juices in the bottom of the pan were pink and the vegetables around the turkey were still crunchy. When we started carving, the dark meat was definitely not done. Very strange. So back it went into the oven, and we cranked the heat.


Long story short, we finally figured out that we had a half cooked turkey because the bottom element in the oven wasn’t working. We carved what we could (the breast, mostly) and sat down to eat at about 8 o’clock (we turned the bird over and put it back in to fully cook the bottom  half).

It was really stressful – my folks are used to having their evening meal around 5 o’clock but, bless ’em, they didn’t complain once.

I guess in the grand scale of Christmas disasters, it wasn’t all that bad, really. Everyone was fed (eventually), no one died or got sick, there was lots of food and it was delicious – though I didn’t really enjoy it until the next day.

And how was your Christmas?

Posted by Jean Poutine

Postscript: When the repair guy came today, the element was working fine. Oy!


3 thoughts on “The Nightmare that is Christmas

  1. Oh no! I had something like this happen to me once too. Made my guests wait for food for hours as we passed around bread and side dishes. At least you’ll be able to laugh looking back about that time the turkey was only 1/2 cooked for Christmas dinner!

    Glad the oven is working now!

  2. Oh no!! No it is not salmon all the time… although we did have seafood many a times. Our turkey was crisp and golden brown thanks to the bath it took in a pound of butter. Yours will be a Christmas story re-told for years and at least you got one half cooked. What I really want to know is how the goose turned out. Tomorrow I am going to post.

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